Finding the good.

Well that just did it, I am calling in the big guns and when I say that - I mean the pediatric neurologist. My child has barely left the house in the last six weeks. She basically is happy being a shut-in, although she will venture into the front yard and play with a few friends.

Today she had such a massive break down at therapy. She really never made it back to even start therapy. After she started to get so upset than she threw up, I realized that this has been happening a lot. I ask our Speech Therapist,  When was the last time Gabby actually made it to the back and completed a full therapy session."

She goes and looks and comes back and says, "Six Weeks!"

Then both her OT and ST therapist come to me and explain that they are at a loss on how to help Gabby. At this point she won't attend therapy let alone school. They explained that in all their years of being therapist they have never seen a child so riddled with anxiety and fear as my girl.

Believe it or not, this is not the first time we have discussed this. I have had several conversations like this before. They all believe Gabby is very bright, but cannot even fathom really getting started teaching her anything because she is so crippled with fear anxiety routine ocd they really are at a loss on where to start.

Most parents would be devastated by this news and don't get me wrong at a time - I would have been too. I just looked these sweet ladies in the eye and told them, "We will head back to Lubbock and get a medicine change. Usually when we have hit a wall with Gabby she has gained too much weight for the dosage of medication. We need a tweak and we need to try a few thing."

I grabbed both of their hands and said "Don't worry so much, we will work it out. It will probably get worse before it gets better, but we have time."

Its weird having to be the cheerleader for your child as well as her therapists. Autism sucks and it not only effects the ones inflicted with it, but those trying to help them.

I just really was not in the mood to fall into a black hole today, and I was not going to let two sweet ladies that are trying their best - to fall into it either. Screw that, every day does not necessarily have to be a good day, you just have to find a small part that is good in it.

I looked at my beautiful girl in the back seat, swinging her bare legs and humming to herself drinking her water on the way home. I thought to myself, so we might not be the healthiest mentally, but physically she is healthy, we have a nice home, my husband has a good job, good insurance, running cars, money in the bank and a good God that is present and faithful.

No no no, I am not going to let Autism dull my sparkle. Not today :)